Is it Just Me? II

Not if you have planned and executed a sound job search. As John Donne stated, "...No man is an island, entire unto itself...." (Or was it Jon Bon Jovi?) Each of us needs a strong support system to see us through the challenges of life.

At a minimum that system should include your family. Having the love and support of loved ones to come home to at the end of a seemingly fruitless day can mean the difference between a pity party, and the knowledge that we are loved and accepted, regardless of how the interview went.

One HR Director I worked for tells the story of how making sure to include his family into his support system actually got him the job. Joe had spent the past year running an outplacement center for over 800 workers displaced as their common employer obsoleted a production unit. The last person Joe had to find a job for in all that work was himself, for he like his peers and coworkers had been "obsoleted."

To make a long story short, because his wife was aware of Joe's objectives, and activities she made the difference.  She mentioned Joe's frustration in trying to reach a hiring manager to their 6- month old's pediatrician. That doc turned out to be the hiring manager's brother. He set up the crucial interview for Joe while waiting for some lab results. The next week, Joe began work at his targeted job. Joe continued to work there for the next five  years, before getting the opportunity to return to his former employer, in a much higher level HR position.

You never know who your kids, their friends, their friends’ parents, the paper carrier, the postal worker, or your trash collector even, might know. Never assume someone can't help you and fail to talk to them about your job search. Build your support system on a wide foundation. Who would have guessed that the Pediatrician would be Joe's critical contact to get "his job" in a down market?

Have you ever had an interview or job opportunities come out of an unsuspected quarter? If so, share your experience with us. Be an encouragement to others reading this blog by adding your comments.  Become a part of someone’s support system!

Is It Just Me?

Wow, how many times have I heard that? When you have been out of work for months, or even a year or more, you begin to wonder - Is it just me? So, what can you do about shaky self-esteem?

This is when a thorough self-assessment and active volunteer life can come to your rescue. So often after hearing repeated responses of "sorry we chose another candidate..." it is easy to wonder "what did they have I don't?" Reviewing a list of accomplishments, and skills you developed in a self-assessment can remind you of all the good qualities you bring to table. Volunteering for a local youth, community or religious group can allow you to utilize, and maybe pass along, many of those qualities and keep the sword sharpened.

At some point, costs may become an important issue for you, It's March Madness and I sure am not putting out the bucks for Session tickets even though there are first round games right here in
Tulsa. However, I can invite over some friends, and enjoy the broadcasts on cable. I am not planning a lake vacation, but I can pack a nice picnic lunch and visit the lake for the day now that temperatures are moderating.

We have to take the time and plan positive experiences into our lives. Lord knows life will through enough negatives your way on a daily basis. If you take control of your time and plan to have some fun; to do some positive things using your skills and experience, you will become your own #1 morale booster. Not only that, but who knows who you might meet during one of those positive experiences-your next boss maybe ?

We Don't Count...

       If this post should get you a little down, check out the title link for a boost to your spirits-this kid shows you how best to respond to an employer rejection letter. 

   
        “We don’t count…” my friend said when she learned that no one had unlocked the door to our new meeting place. Arrangements had been made; we even had been invited to meet there.  However, no one had informed the person with the keys when to open up the venue for us.
             I can understand how my friend felt. All too often those engaged in a job search tend to believe this. If you aren’t employed you may have to rein in your spending. This may mean not  attending many social or public events you once frequented. Even at those events or meetings you do attend, people seem to shy away from you when they hear you are out of work.  Sometimes it seems the unemployed only count when we are talking about indicators of our local or national economic health.
           I never have figured out just why that is. Do they think unemployment is contagious? (For the past three years it almost has seemed that way.) Perhaps they don’t know how to respond, and what to say to an unemployed friend. Could they be afraid the unemployed will ask them personally for a job, or a helping hand?
          Whatever, before long the invitations start to drop off. You know, fewer “…let’s go to lunch (dinner, coffee, the movies, etc…)”. Fewer invites for the kids to their friends’ birthday parties-ouch, now even the kids don't count. Maybe no mention gets made of events or gatherings that you once were a part of.
           These all are well intentioned reasons, I am sure. A host or hostess probably thinks they are helping by not asking you to spend money at a tough time. Perhaps that parent rationalizes even birthday presents can be expensive. But these acts only heighten and intensify the reminders that things are not what they once were.
           It doesn’t take long for the unemployed, and their families, to begin to feel and believe “…we don’t count.” With the amount of rejection and negativity they encounter just in the job search, this kind of “help” is not what they need.  Those friends and neighbors who were so evident when times were good are still out there, and their support and fellowship are more important than ever. The
unemployed need to feel wanted, valued; in short that they count.
           It might be as simple as an invite to Sunday lunch, with an offer to pick up the check. It doesn’t have to be the same friend(s) every week. In fact it would be great if those in the job seeker’s network of friends and acquaintances would coordinate and plan some of these kinds of activities.
            Oh, yeah, and if someone would be sure to remind someone to unlock the door so that the Job Seekers’ group can get to their meeting place on time.
           

           So, what do you think?  Do the unemployed count for more than economic indicator?